Handling Emotional Divorced Spouse During Home Sale

Friday, April 13, 2018   /   by Robert Woessner

Handling Emotional Divorced Spouse During Home Sale

Here are a few tips on how to handle the emotions involved in selling your home in order to finalize a great sale, in spite of the emotional turmoil you are going through:


1. Try and pick a professional real estate agent that empathizes with your situation.


2. Remember that people look differently at objects. - The objects which you hold dear and which you have linked to over the years, might not represent much to the potential buyer. In this case, it’s a safe bet not to assume that the objects that are emotionally important to you will raise the overall value of the house.


3. Prepare the house for the sale. - This aspect usually requires painting the house walls in neutral colors like white, as well as depersonalizing the house of all your personal, emotionally charged objects. That will appeal to more potential buyers. It also enables the buyers to imagine themselves living in the house.


At the same time, it will make it easier for you to get through the selling process without having to face bittersweet memories and emotionally charged objects at every turn.


4. Try to keep in mind that the best memories are linked to the important people in your life, not to places. - That does not mean we don’t get emotionally attached.


A photo album holding pictures related to the best moments you enjoyed in that home, might make it easier to go through the selling process. After you sign the paper, a last visit to the neighbors might also reduce the grief and sadness you feel.


5. Think like a potential buyer would. - Remember the first time you walked in the house and what you were looking for when you fell in love with the property.


That should help give you a taste of the prospector’s point of view. It might also make it emotionally easier to bare.


Considering Your Children


Another emotionally difficult moment during a sale and a move is the children. When you have kids, their safety and happiness will always be your top priority.


That is why you will probably consider their well-being when deciding to sell the house and move. Moving is hard for your kids as they usually thrive on family stability and routine. If you feel that moving and cutting ties with your home is difficult for you, imagine how it might feel for your kids.


They often feel they are not part of the decision-making process and sometimes aren’t even able to understand it. While the sell and move will be a difficult moment for both you and the kids, experts say that it’s best to try and avoid both too much and too little consideration on their behalf.


Try to stay balanced and clear-headed. For both your sake as well as theirs. Here are a few tips on how to best manage the emotional aspect of moving when it comes to your kids:


After dealing with a divorce, it is good to try and postpone the house sale for a while, in the attempt to give the kids time to adjust.


Discuss it with the kids. - The best way to prepare the kids for a move is to talk with them. Give them as much information as you consider fit, as soon as you can. Answer their questions and be receptive to their emotions, both good and bad.


Keep it positive. - During the selling and moving process, it is highly important to provide the kids with a highly positive and enthusiastic view of the situation you are going through.


Even if the move is basically out of your hands, try to present them with the excitement of a new start and all the positive aspects of it. Remember your children look at you for reassurance and balance.


Involve the kids as much as possible. - Discussing with the kids and involving them in the planning aspect, as well as in small things like packing or hunting for a new school, can make them feel excited.


Being a participant in the planning process and not just an observer will make them feel more confident and make the moving process seem easier and less forced.


Give them details and make it visual if you can. - In case of long-distance moves, try and see if you can convince your buyer agent to take a few photos of the new home and send them to you. Go on the internet and find out as many interesting aspects of the community, neighborhood and school as you can.


Talk to your kids about all these aspects and about all the new, exciting things which you will be able to enjoy there together.


Moving with toddlers and preschoolers - In this case, try to keep the explanations as clear and short as possible. For a better illustrative way of explaining, try to act it out with toy trucks, furniture, and toys. They will love the story and most likely be less stressed.


Remember to pack all their favorite toys and do not throw anything away. It is a great idea to take the furniture in the kid’s room and re-arrange it in a similar way in the new home. That will give comfort and safety to the kid. Remember to arrange for a babysitter during the moving day.


Moving with Teens - Moving with teens can be particularly challenging as they tend to rebel against it. Consider the fact that your child is going through a difficult period of his or her life and has probably invested a lot of effort and energy into being part of his or her social group.


The cause of the rebellion might also be the fact that they have romantic feelings for someone, or because they will be missing a long-awaited event like an exciting school trip or the prom. A good way to overcome that is by successive discussions.


It is highly important that you make sure that your teenager understands that you are hearing and respecting his/ her concerns and worries. Try to suggest that the move is a rehearsal for upcoming important moves in his/her life, like going away to college or changing homes for a better job.


The importance of putting effort into the days after the move - The day after the move is the moment when everything comes together. Try and arrange your kid’s room first and put everything in place before turning your attention to unpacking the rest of the things. A great aspect to help is maintaining routine as much as possible by keeping the same regular meals and bedtime schedule.


Be realistic with your expectations. Specialists usually estimate that kids usually need up to 6 weeks to start blending in and feeling comfortable. In order to help them set-in faster, encourage them to keep in touch with their old friends via phone and internet applications.


If you and your child are still having issues after this period of time, it might be a great idea to visit together a family therapist.


Try to benefit from this life change by bonding and learning more about each other. Difficulties and challenging moments are often that what brings families closer together after all.

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The data relating to real estate for sale on this limited electronic display comes in part from the Southwest Florida Multiple Listing Services. Properties listed with brokerage firms other than are marked with the BR Program Icon or the BR House Icon and detailed information about them includes the name of the Listing Brokers. The properties displayed may not be all the properties available through the BR Program. The source of this real property information is the copyrighted and proprietary database compilation of the participating Southwest Florida MLS organizations and is Copyright 2017 Southwest Florida MLS organizations. All rights reserved. The accuracy of this information is not warranted or guaranteed. This information should be independently verified if any person intends to engage in a transaction in reliance upon it. Some properties that appear for sale on this limited electronic display may no longer be available. For the most current information, contact Data last updated 9/27/2022 9:38 PM CST.
The source of this real property information is the copyrighted and proprietary database compilation of the Southwest Florida MLS organizations Copyright 2022. Southwest Florida MLS organizations. All rights reserved. The accuracy of this information is not warranted or guaranteed. This information should be independently verified if any person intends to engage in a transaction in reliance upon it. The property information herein is derived from various sources that may include, but not be limited to, county records and the Multiple Listing Service and it may include approximations. Although the information is believed to be accurate, it is not warranted and you should not rely upon it without personal verification.
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